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Why I Will Never Support Herpes Dating Sites – Ella Dawson
We are not on the same side of this war. They reinforce the impulse of scared, raw people to hate themselves and hide from the rest of the world. These websites enable the self-segregation of the H community in a way that I believe contributes to our invisibility and inertia.
They say to the rest of the world that we belong apart, that we are less than, that we are a hilarious PositiveSingles punch line. They send a progressive message to no one.
Why I Will Never Support Herpes Dating Sites
Denying that is intellectually dishonest. Some of these websites claim to empower their customers. Maybe some people use them as a transitional tool before re-entering the wider dating sphere, and hey, cool, whatever. Good for those people.
But they are just as often predatory environments where newly diagnosed men and women but usually women are bombarded with attention. Like other dating services, they can be unsafe spaces for women where harassment and coercion thrive.
When you round up a vulnerable and isolated population, create a community space and fail to moderate it or protect your users, you create a dangerous environment. These folks would be better served by a support community than a dating app.
STI dating services are a product of the stigma, not an empowering way out of it. Not to mention that people with herpes are diverse. Having a minor skin condition in common is a shoddy foundation for a healthy relationship.
I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too. The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites. Which leads me to my next concern: Some of them bring on consultants in the sexual health world, but only after the fact, and by and large their founders do not come from our community.
These entrepreneurs may believe they have our best interests at heart, but they will never understand the stigma as well as someone who lives with it.
Best Dating Sites For People With Herpes - AskMen
All too frequently, STIs are spread during an individual's first sexual encounter or simply because a past partner was not honest about their condition. And despite what outdated stigma our society holds all too often holds, having herpes in no way signifies the infected individual was or us dirty or promiscuous. Do you think an STI-positive person tried to get infected? If you have HSV-2, you probably know some of the best practices when it comes to dating: Be honest and tell your partner about the virus, but at an appropriate time.
On the topic of rational, if you are infected, the infection alone is no reason to lower your dating standards or think of yourself as unworthy of a caring partner, physical touch and pleasure, or a loving relationship. Luckily, the Internet breaks down some of the self and society-imposed barriers that come along with dating with herpes, providing a transparent medium to interact and get to know others without so much worry about ignorant judgment or responses.
The virus becomes less important and who you are as an individual, you know, your personal, quirks, likes and dislikes, are elevated.
These sites provide a communal feeling, and just being on them may do wonders to increase your confidence in offline dating as well.
Best Dating Sites For People With Herpes
Most importantly, niche sites designed for people with herpes streamline the process of getting over the STD-talk road bump and allow you to make real, fun, and meaningful connections with others, all while remaining both safe and honest. So go ahead and save yourself some time in your dating life as you read on to discover the best dating sites for people with herpes. The dating site may be so attractive to individuals because it focuses on matching you not just based on your medical condition, but based on other, more standard compatibility factors such as your interests, lifestyle preferences, and even star sign.
Beyond the non-bias matching system, Positive Singles has a host of other features some casual hookup site. Positive Singles provides both transparency and privacy, with highlights such as the ability to see who has viewed your profile, the option to browse anonymously, detailed privacy settings that allow you to hide your profile based on a specific set of rules you create, a setting to hide areas of your profile including the type of STD you haveand even the option to require a special password to open the app on your mobile phone.