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profile picture of Christine Coppa I'm a single mom, and it took me a solid three years to go on a date after my son was born. The most important reason not to date someone with serious issues is that you won't want him around your child. Mother's Day doesn't just hurt for unloved daughters but for unloved sons as " The men I have seen clinically have all the same issues as the daughters do. An unresolved Mother Wound can also make a man susceptible to feeling . by David Jewell (original photo) and Rick Belden (processed image). Exploring men's issues, masculine psychology, and recovery from abuse.
Men and the Mother Wound
Gay male relationships where there is a parenting factor involved differ from straight relationships mostly in that same-sex parenting needs extra support. Family— In gay male relationships, the role of one of the male partners in taking care of aging parents can be an issue, similar to straight couples.
Fortunately, for most of the gay couples I have worked with, there have been surprisingly few seriously hostile in-law conflicts.
More often, the son-in-law is treated as a full member of the family, which is a nice thing to be able to say about the current times we live in. Fun— Fortunately, one huge and consistent benefit I have observed in gay male relationships over straight ones is that gay couples consistently demonstrate a youthfulness, playfulness, and sense of fun, especially with peers but also alone with each other.
While this is common to affluent gay male couples, even middle class or working class gay couples seem to have an extra sense of discovering fun, creative pastimes. Men are physically larger than women, so they can go through a lot of alcohol and food at events hence the stories of the first all-gay cruises running out of alcohol on board!
A friend of mine once said that he believed gay men had particularly-evolved critical thinking skills. While two gay men might love one another in their relationship, they will still subtly compete with one another to others, like most males in the animal kingdom. This can be a certain mutual benefit, but it can also be a source of competition or even resentment of what the other has that he lacks.
We want to make ourselves attractive to each other, but we also tend to want to be recognized and admired in our own right by others.
For gay male couples, loving and accepting the self individually and in context of each other, and society at large, can be a challenge. Politics— I think gay male couples are just simply more affected by politics, changes in laws, and changes in society than straight couples are. When we watch the evening news, or read news outlets online, they are often talking about us as gay men.
That just puts an extra stress on the day, in addition to the fact that the Internet service provider is down or that the cat just threw up grass on the carpet. Gay male couples tend to be more politically aware, and even more politically active attending protests, writing letters, attending fundraisers, observing boycotts, making donations than straight couples, because their rights and existence are challenged every day these days with a certain urgency and immediacy that straight couples are generally spared.
When you think of "single" as a dirty word, you're prone to date people you should stay clear off, said Elisabeth J. That can lead you to choose romantic partners from a place of desperation rather than a place of strength. You haven't given any thought to your relationship deal breakers.
Dating a guy with emotional issues
What are your deal breakers -- the laundry list of things you simply won't tolerate in someone you're thinking of getting serious with? Figure out which character traits get on your nerves and you'll be better equipped to avoid guys who possess them, said Jennifer Barrowsa wellness coach based in Boston.
Wrong all over again, do some thinking about your values, what you want in a partner, and which things would break the deal for you," she said. You think you can change him. Let go of the hero complex: If your instinct is to "fix" every guy you date, you need to reevaluate your approach to relationships; you can't love away his problems, no matter how hard you try.Men Only - Mommy Issues
It hurts but does not scare me. My Mother Wound terrifies me.
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It feels like a pit from which there is no return. My Mother Wound is equally deep in its own way as my Father Wound, but much of it is hidden in the weeds and shadow realms of my psyche. Finding its various elements and aspects, seeing them, and recognizing them for what they are is a tricky job.
The core truths haven't been nearly as easy to access, and the internal and social prohibitions against doing so make it feel incredibly risky to even try.
Elements of the culture have amplified, and continue to amplify, the conditioning I received as a child that women especially mothers are inherently virtuous, self-sacrificing, and morally infallible, making a tough slog through the dark feminine underworld in my own psyche even tougher. But this is work I have to do, even if I feel I am doing it imperfectly, if I have any chance of being whole, mature, and complete as a man. Why is Mother Wound work important?
Mother Wounds that lurk unacknowledged and unhealed in men don't just hurt men. They also hurt women and children across the culture. It often seems that we are inundated with an apparently infinite stream of stories about misogyny, abuse, and violence inflicted on women by men, accompanied by similarly unending commentary as to the causes. But the one factor I almost never see included in these discussions is this: Many of these men are being driven, at least in part, by the powerful, unconscious emotional energy of an unresolved Mother Wound.
Until we're ready as a culture to explore and address the causes and implications of that, I don't think we're going to get too far in addressing the more dramatically problematic and damaging behaviors some men exhibit with women. That's the extreme end of the scale and is not representative of the behavior of the majority of men, but as explored earlier in this piece, there are many other negative if less visible and less dramatic dynamics in men's lives that develop as a consequence of unresolved Mother Wounds.
The resultant effects hurt women and children as well as the men themselves, although the impacts to all may be less obvious, more subtle, and play out over longer periods of time.